May be just maybe school are finally learning to communicate, I know shock horror.
I got a phone call from Oliver’s tutor on Friday before Oliver had finished school to let me know there had been a incident in school between Oliver and one of his friends. The incident at first was thought to be serious and the tutor got reports from others that were there and then he spoke to both boys together, after speaking to them it turnout that it was all a very big misunderstanding from both the boys and not helped by others getting involved and stiring things a little more. Once he had spoken to them they had realised the misunderstanding and they had both gone back to lesson friends and happy. But he called me to let me know what had happened and that it was sorted but he would keep and eye on things over this week.
I have never had a call like this and normally have to deal with Oliver in a bad way from whatever has happened once he is home, trying to piece information from him while emailing his tutor who can’t do anything as it’s the weekend and then have Oliver bad over the weekend stewing on things from the Friday before and him not wanting to go in on the Monday. Thankfully the tutor called for this reason to let me know what had happened and that I didn’t need to be chasing school.
Thankfully Oliver came out of school happy and we briefly spoke about what had happened.
Some of the comments from the tutor however did concern me, in the fact he didn’t fully understand ASD and I had to point out that some of the things he was saying like not reading body language would be Oliver’s ASD.
But all in all a good step forward in communication and understanding, lets hope it can carry on.
OK, so we are awaiting and Education psychologist report to come through with in the next week or two to find out were Oliver stands to what support he might need for school in core subjects. This is a long wait might I had, while also awaiting an appointment with Occupational Therapy. This weekend I choose to help Oliver more with SPAG at home, giving him his tablet to help him focus we did a page of fractions (Maths being one of his faves this wasn’t a problem) However SPAG was another thing all together, we did one page and he didn’t seem to get it. I don’t understand how his English Teacher can say there are no issues and he can do more complex work when at home he can’t do the simple tasks, we did Prefixes, so nothing major and he didn’t get some of it. We even did his spelling homework, now for this all I do it make Oliver copy out the words three times, just copy from a sheet to writing them down and he was missing out letters. It’s like this in his homework diary he can’t seem to copy things word for word he misses out so much. So if he can’t do this for writing out his homework and copying things at home, how can he be doing it in school? Why has no one seem to pick up on this? The more I think about the more I think he is going unnoticed in Class.
I though I would do some of t his work to one help Oliver and two to show the Occupational Therapist his handwriting and letter forming as that is one main reason we are awaiting an appointment, now I wish I had done this for the Educational Psychologist too to have examples rather than just speaking about it.
Oh well lets await a report and see what happens from there, maybe if it comes back he’s fine I will show school the work at home, but then when I look at his school work I can see the same things in there.
Maybe some of his teachers just can’t be bothered to understand and work with him? Some are fabulous tho and a true credit to the profession. Maybe the unhelpful ones shouldn’t be teaching?
I guess time will tell on how things go and in the mean time Oliver carries on struggling and losing interest in school, the scary thing is this could carry on, unless something changes.
OK, this could be long or short lets see with how the typing goes.
On Friday we had a meeting with and Educational Psychologist at school now our son already diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD and Motor Dyspraxia. But we feel school aren’t supporting his needs and in areas it’s our word against school so I guess to silence us they agree to bring in and Ed Psy to agree with them. Now having a few of these meetings when our son was younger to get on the pathway to diagnoses what hard, they had their own ideas and didn’t really listen to us and someone from school was always in the meetings.
Well Friday it was just us no school staff and what a meeting, we told him of the conditions Oliver has and how school said there might be one more but he explained that is was just a label and not much medical or normal research had gone into the condition and there for he wouldn’t be saying he had it and it is link to another condition of Dyspraxia, now as he explain Oliver has Dyspraxia within the Motor side of things and for the first time he explained more about it and was surprised Oliver had been diagnosed with Motor Dyspraxia rather than just Dyspraxia, as the motor side is the most visible but its the brain side behind it.
We were able to say all our concerns about Oliver and the response we had from teachers and the school. He made some many notes and it he agrees with a lot of things we said, from what we had said he worked out the best assessments for Oliver to do with him. We explained we think Oliver struggles with English and Science and how we think he might need 121 support for those subjects and we believe he struggles more in other subjects for for now our focus is core subjects.
We explained we had applied for and ECHP assessment and had been turned down and we wanted to know what support Oliver needed and what support we could get for him. The assessments that were done with Oliver will decide if he is behind, needs support or struggles. In the report it will tell us if an ECHP would be a good idea.
So after pouring your heart out and feeling emotional drained from it, we did come out feeling that we were listened too and not brushed off. So now we have the waiting game of getting the report back and we can have another meeting with him to discuss the report or change anything we think shouldn’t be on there.
For me I look forward to getting the report back and having a meeting with school on how best to support Oliver going forward.
Maybe I am being too hopeful and all will come back that there is no concerns and the concerns I have for Oliver at home with homework is not the same as school. So lets hold our breath and wait and see.
So after the nightmare of last year and communication with school not being at its best, things are slowly improving! But it has taken a lot of chasing on my part which I can understand with SENCO’s having lots of children under the belt they can’t always remember to inform you of something with your child like you asked and sometimes they just need a gentle remember by you emailing them. I always thought by doing this I was being a pain in the bum, constantly chasing them and felt like I was nagging. But after a conversation with school last week I found that they don’t mind these little reminders and it’s easier to reply to and email on the spot than it is to remember to send one.
Lets see how things carried on this term.
So after emailing the governors of the school, who did email me back to say they would chase school and I will get a reply directly, you guess it weeks on and still no reply. I emailed the head of their academy trust, her PA got back to me to say they would look into things and arrange a meeting a day later a meeting is set with the head of the trust and the school! So in 3 days we have had a meeting arranged but still nothing from the school in question. But not the head of the school isn’t facing us, why would he do that when we can’t even reply to a letter, so we have the pleasure of the deputy head! I am ready to fight but having a feeling school will turn things on us and say we are over reacting to everything. still no surface so that is now 8 weeks on so a whole term in there!
Feeling happy about a meeting finally but still feel we have a long way to go with them and things won’t ever change!
When school aren’t responding to your letters and your son’s school report gets sent home and even tho you are so proud of him and his amazing report, you feel the need to reply to school with your comments on it!
Well I am in the middle of typing such a letter, just doing this blog for a break from it and help the emotions calm down for a clearer calmer letter, none of the teachers seem to understand Asperger’s syndrome or ADHD and even motor dyspraxia. So a letter of gentle reminding is needed, I am sure this will be another unanswered letter, another thing for them to ignore and another failing on their behalf and who’s the one left suffering Oliver.
Oh well I guess I should get back to it.
When you sit down and take stock of things and think nothing is going to change and you need to push even more than you have, after emailing the head teachers of my sons school at the end of April with no reply I have now typed a letter to the board of governors at the school. I will be sending that off today and then we shall see what happens from there, if nothing then I shall go to the head of the partnership as the school is an academy and then I shall do department of education local and then national. I have also done a parent ofsted questionnaire 🙂
Still no surface for my son with his handwriting and that is a term no now, don’t hold out much hope for next term either, having to go to the GP for a referral to OT as school don’t want to do it as they will be made to support and do something by being told to go online for resource and support.
Shame as my son isn’t the only SEN child they are failing.