Battles with understanding in the wider world.

I am completely peed off today after seeing the most disgusting status on social media.

One person was angry with a teenager where they lived after they had apparently press all the buttons in the lift, this lead them to think it was acceptable to put a status up on social media calling that person a ADHD XXX and a retard along with other things.    Thank goodness other people along with myself replied with this is unacceptable and the admin took the post down.  However …

Is this right that a person should use this wording for teenager?   whether they are ADHD or not just because the peed them off.  NO!!!!  We as parents hope and pray and spend so much time trying to change the racism against our children and their conditions to have someone use it so causally.

What concerns me more if they are throwing these words around like no business and have children then their children will also pick up on the misconceptions of these conditions.  This adult clearly has no understanding of these conditions and that will carry on as clearly they seem like they never want to understand them.   We still face racism in all sorts in this day and age and it really shouldn’t be happening.

So how do we as parents deal with this?

How do you education the ones who don’t want to be educated?

How do we make the future better for our children?

The answers to above I have no idea, other than to keep doing what we are doing in the hope that one day it might all change and make it a better place for our children as adults and future children with these conditions.  To keep smiling at the people who choose not to understand not to move forward.

 

The thing is my son amazes me every day with his look on life and how he deals with things and he makes me to proud.

Feeling heartbroken and defeated at the moment.

 

x

 

 

Advertisements

Confusion and gathering information

OK, so we are awaiting and Education psychologist report to come through with in the next week or two to find out were Oliver stands to what support he might need for school in core subjects.   This is a long wait might I had,  while also awaiting an appointment with Occupational Therapy.  This weekend I choose to help Oliver more with SPAG at home, giving him his tablet to help him focus we did a page of fractions (Maths being one of his faves this wasn’t a problem)   However SPAG was another thing all together, we did one page and he didn’t seem to get it.  I don’t understand how his English Teacher can say there are no issues and he can do more complex work when at home he can’t do the simple tasks,  we did Prefixes, so nothing major and he didn’t get some of it.   We even did his spelling homework, now for this all I do it make Oliver copy out the words three times, just copy from a sheet to writing them down and he was missing out letters. It’s like this in his homework diary he can’t seem to copy things word for word he misses out so much.  So if he can’t do this for writing out his homework and copying things at home, how can he be doing it in school?  Why has no one seem to pick up on this?  The more I think about the more I think he is going unnoticed in Class.

I though I would do some of t his work to one help Oliver and two to show the Occupational Therapist his handwriting and letter forming as that is one main reason we are awaiting an appointment, now I wish I had done this for the Educational Psychologist too to have examples rather than just speaking about it.

Oh well lets await a report and see what happens from there, maybe if it comes back he’s fine I will show school the work at home, but then when I look at his school work I can see the same things in there.

Maybe some of his teachers just can’t be bothered to understand and work with him?  Some are fabulous tho and a true credit to the profession.   Maybe the unhelpful ones shouldn’t be teaching?

I guess time will tell on how things go and in the mean time Oliver carries on struggling and losing interest in school, the scary thing is this could carry on, unless something changes.

Finally!

So after emailing the governors of the school, who did email me back to say they would chase school and I will get a reply directly, you guess it weeks on and still no reply.  I emailed the head of their academy trust, her PA got back to me to say they would look into things and arrange a meeting a day later a meeting is set with the head of the trust and the school!  So in 3 days we have had a meeting arranged but still nothing from the school in question. But not the head of the school isn’t facing us, why would he do that when we can’t even reply to a letter, so we have the pleasure of the deputy head!  I am ready to fight but having a feeling school will turn things on us and say we are over reacting to everything.  still no surface so that is now 8 weeks on so a whole term in there!

 

Feeling happy about a meeting finally but still feel we have a long way to go with them and things won’t ever change!

 

x

Annoyed!

Sorry blogging again as I need to vent and get things clear in my head and this is one way that helps me.

So Oliver comes out of school very angry, an incident happened in his English class were the class were misbehaving and the teacher gave out dentitions etc Oliver not being one of them.

But in tutor time another teacher goes in and tells him off and threatens him with a phone call home when he has done nothing wrong but the ones who had dentitions don’t get spoken to and the tutor for Oliver says and does nothing.

The thing is the tutor and this teacher know his conditions spoke to him in front of the class.  The teacher who came in also teachers Oliver and knows him well.  Angry is not the word at the moment.

I have emailed into his tutor, teacher involved and his English teacher to get their side of things and why they took this action. I have already emailed then heads on other issues, parents evening will be fun and heads will roll.

 

a

When life gives you lemons!

When life gives you lemons fight back and make Lemonade!

 

So at recent CAMHs appointments and other I have been asked if Oliver has an ECH plan, nope he doesn’t!  Why ?  Well Oliver holds it all together at school and on their creditors (reward system) he is in the top 10 for his whole year (about 120 children) He is wonderful at school and they don’t see any issues.

Oliver explodes once he is home from school where he feels safe and isn’t judged, of course of things are really bad the I email in to school, some times getting a reply and sometimes not.

With half term now up on us and Oliver having a chance to decompress I am on a mission to fight back with school.  Will I get anywhere who knows but I have massive issues.

So I guess this blog is for me to get my head around what I would want for Oliver what are the issues and what I have done so far !

So Oliver has been at this school for 2 and a 1/2 years and in the low years (KS2) he had amazing teachers who understood the issues and supported him,  KS3 he has lots of different teachers and they don’t understand him.  When I went in at the start of term I was given a quick 20 minute meeting to be told they have no concerns and my concerns were they have seen and worked with worst.

Oliver’s handwriting is awful, I can’t read it and he has been told by his science teacher she is unable to read it and he has to do something else when the others are writing, how is that helping  ?  This was one of my concerns at the start of the year which according to the SENCO and his tutor isn’t an issue?  I have to teach him touch typing for them to think about allowing him a computer in school.  I would work on hand writing at home like we have done before under his good teachers but nothing has come home to help us.

Teachers haven’t understood his condition resulting in me emailing in, which one email I had a reply the other ignored and both ignored by the SENCO.

So how do I get and ECH plan when they think nothing is wrong, how do I get the support for handwriting when they’ve seen worst?

A email has gone into school requesting a meeting I believe I need to sit down and come up with my concerns and Oliver’s and see what happens and maybe ask CAMHs to help.

I am not the only parent who has had issues with school and the SENCO.

What would you suggest to help or advise?

 

I shall keep you posted x

 

My last two blogs have been quite down as things have seem to be on a downward spiral. Well today started like the rest of the week has horrible, Oliver has melted down over most things, tiny things. Today was no better, he was blowing things out of proportion this morning saying that people had done things they hadn’t and nothing we said made any difference.

Knowing he had one more school performance didn’t help and I did think about keeping him at home, but knowing that wasn’t the right answer his dad came up with a great idea, Oliver’s birthday is this Sunday (and as I have been told by Oliver mothers day is cancelled)

We had an early present for Oliver which we where going to give him tomorrow but thinking it might help we gave him two presents early, this new Reading Football T-Shirt and tickets to see a game tomorrow with his dad.

 

OMG did it change his mood into the happy Oliver we all know and love, he was full of excitement telling us information about Reading Football Club we didn’t think he knew. I am so pleased he liked this present as I was worried he wouldn’t Oliver can open a present and show no emotion at all, even if he loves it, leaving you feeling you have done the wrong things, but not this morning 🙂

I am hopping this makes his day a lot better and gives him something to look forward too and focus on.

I can only hope he is still happy after school and nothing has gone on to ruin his day, but thank goodness for the weekend and no school.

 

 

School Show

Well it’s that time of year again, the School’s Easter Show! This should be a happy time the children perform for parents etc but for a child with ASD and ADHD this is a nightmare.

As the week and the show have gone on Oliver has gone into meltdown a lot more, getting him into school is becoming hard or not into school as such more into the playground because once he is in the playground and seeing his friends he appears to be fine.

After the third show and with a show this evening, Oliver has become horrid, he is going into meltdown over nothing, reading and spelling was hard to complete with him this evening. When I question him (yes I did try) he told me that he had no sympathy at school when I asked him what he meant he told me “I had chest pains at school today”

He has been suffering from chest pains before a performance and all the teaching staff are saying to him is that it is nerves! YES IT IS BLOODY IS NERVES HE IS A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS ! He has had them before a performance and while performing, why do school think it is important to put a child through this much pain I would be and I am sure Oliver would be more than happy not to take part. If he was a child that loved to perform then I would be more than happy for him to take part to even encourage it, but when it isn’t his interest it’s hard work. Even if I went into school to say he isn’t performing then all I would get from them is it it character building.

They all so wouldn’t see the problem as Oliver doesn’t meltdown in school it show his emotions he leaves it for when he gets home so every time something upsets him and I go into school they don’t see the problem. I wish for once he would show them what he shows me and maybe just maybe they would understand more.

I feel as a parent with a child with these or any conditions no one understands unless they themselves are going through a similar experience. Training courses don’t always help the real training is living with this every day. That is even if school send anyone on any training course, which at the moment I am thinking not!

Oh well two more to go tonight and Friday, maybe then things will get better at least we have his birthday soon to look forward too.