What a start to the week!

As you can tell from previous blogs school isn’t listening to us and brushing things under the carpet, our son isn’t too bad he just needs support in English and his handwriting, maybe even science with his grade dropping! 

Anyhow back in April we wrote a letter to the head teachers with no reply what so ever and even with the SENCO a term on our son doesn’t have a surface/tablet to help with teachers reading his work.

Well yesterday some peed of parents wrote a letter to the govonors of the school and emailed it to them, well I woke up this morning to a reply that they are going to speak to school and get them to contact me. 

Let’s see what the week brings ūüėÄ

When something goes right

A proud moment here, my son as you have seen from other posts loves football more than anything else. ¬† To help keep in happy and active in the holidays he generally does a football holiday camp with Chelsea FC foundation, I have to say I loved them amazing coaches who go above and beyond with all children. ¬†My son today was awarded the Head Coach Player of the week trophy today for giving it his all for the last four days. ¬† ¬†He is so happy its unreal and really proud of himself and its helped his confidence today as well. ¬†He always comes home having had a really good day, going over skills and then mini games in the afternoon, he’s always hot and sweaty from working so hard, but it shows that even with additional needs our children can still shine in a mainstream holiday camp. ¬†He even does their invitation only club on a Friday evening and I am sure when he is back after half term he will go in with a little more confidence ūüôā

 

Also on a positive note had to go to the GP for a referral to OT as school had requested it and the GP has done the referral for us. (yepiee) so now we need to see if we get an assessment with OT and possible help again.  So many issues there not just handwriting.

 

x

When life gives you lemons!

When life gives you lemons fight back and make Lemonade!

 

So at recent CAMHs appointments and other I have been asked if Oliver has an ECH plan, nope he doesn’t! ¬†Why ? ¬†Well Oliver holds it all together at school and on their creditors (reward system) he is in the top 10 for his whole year (about 120 children) He is wonderful at school and they don’t see any issues.

Oliver explodes once he is home from school where he feels safe and isn’t judged, of course of things are really bad the I email in to school, some times getting a reply and sometimes not.

With half term now up on us and Oliver having a chance to decompress I am on a mission to fight back with school.  Will I get anywhere who knows but I have massive issues.

So I guess this blog is for me to get my head around what I would want for Oliver what are the issues and what I have done so far !

So Oliver has been at this school for 2 and a 1/2 years and in the low years (KS2) he had amazing teachers who understood the issues and supported him, ¬†KS3 he has lots of different teachers and they don’t understand him. ¬†When I went in at the start of term I was given a quick 20 minute meeting to be told they have no concerns and my concerns were they have seen and worked with worst.

Oliver’s handwriting is awful, I can’t read it and he has been told by his science teacher she is unable to read it and he has to do something else when the others are writing, how is that helping ¬†? ¬†This was one of my concerns at the start of the year which according to the SENCO and his tutor isn’t an issue? ¬†I have to teach him touch typing for them to think about allowing him a computer in school. ¬†I would work on hand writing at home like we have done before under his good teachers but nothing has come home to help us.

Teachers haven’t understood his condition resulting in me emailing in, which one email I had a reply the other ignored and both ignored by the SENCO.

So how do I get and ECH plan when they think nothing is wrong, how do I get the support for handwriting when they’ve seen worst?

A email has gone into school requesting a meeting I believe I need to sit down and come up with my concerns and Oliver’s and see what happens and maybe ask CAMHs to help.

I am not the only parent who has had issues with school and the SENCO.

What would you suggest to help or advise?

 

I shall keep you posted x

 

Hello All,

It’s been a while since I have blogged and I really must start to get back into the habit of it, even if no one reads my blogs it’s a way of me distressing, collecting my thought and putting things back in perceptive or even venting.

Living with a child if not preteen with ASD and ADHD can be very tough but then it can also be so rewarding when you look on the unique way of things and there funny little characters.  How they see the world in a different way but also how they can see the truth in things.

Also living with a teenager¬†who suffers from Chronic Pain and fatigue ¬†all from having a nasty¬†virus in September and now their world and yours is turn upside down, things that where possible only a few months ago are now impossible. ¬†Learning to live differently and adjust is a big step but a step my teen has taken in her stride and one step at time too. ¬†Don’t get me wrong she has had some very dark days but with love and support things can shine through, acceptance is a big key and her being brave enough to speak about it not just to us as a family but also being brave enough to tell people in a school setting.

I am always amazing at how children/young adults deal with illness. They seam to take it all in their stride, never questioning why me? Dealing with what life has thrown at the them in the most amazing way, working out the new path they now must travel, I wonder how many adults would be the same?

Time to sign off for now, hopefully I shall find the time to be back soon ūüôā

 

Other Children

How do you explain to your child about other people’s behavior and then that person¬†blaming it on their disability IE ADHD or ASD, when you never let your child use the conditions as an excuse for bad behavior.

Oliver was at an after school club when a boy push Oliver towards the ground and pushed his neck (I believe, that’s the story we have, even though it wasn’t fully witnessed) ¬†The adult in charge saw the end of what was happening and spoke to the child involved and told him if he he did anything like that again he wouldn’t be allowed back. ¬†The child turned around and said he was angry¬†and the adult told him that wasn’t an excuse he had to learn to control anger (in a nice caring way to help the child and not make them feel worst I am sure) ¬†then the child said I have ADHD and can’t help it. ¬†To which the adult replied that Oliver has ADHD but he doesn’t behave like that and the child calmed down and went off for a while then came back feeling unwell.

Where is the line we drawn in letting their disability become and excuse? ¬†I know most children have anger issues with ADHD and ASD, I know Oliver does and when we can see him getting angry or he knows he is then we walks away to his room to calm down and when out and about or at school he bottles it up until he comes home and then he deals with it. ¬†He has never hit anyone from anger let alone another child, ¬†So why should another child? ¬†Oliver now doesn’t understand why he was hurt because of someone with ADHD when he has the same and has never done it. ¬†Who is to blame the child (who has can’t control it or has never been taught how to control it) Or the parent ? ¬†In my own personal view and some may hate me for this but I blame the parents for not helping to teach their child, and maybe I am wrong but for allowing the child to use their condition as an excuse for this behavior like this is wrong. Where will the lashing out end someone being seriously hurt.

Why isn’t there more support and understanding out there for one the children involved and even adults with these conditions and more support for parents to help our children to understand a confusing world and a confusing condition.

When will the cycle end?

Cookery

Well today Oliver had cookery, he has had two previous lessons in the kitchen, learning the rules and basics.  But today he cooked!

Every secondary school we looked around with our daughter Oliver hated the kitchens the smell would send him into melt down. So as you can image this was one I would worry about maybe more than I should have.  Oliver cooked bread rolls today, cleaned up (all the drying up and cleaning the kitchen table down must be helping him and his sister).

He came out so proud of what he had done, and when I asked him if the smells had bothered him he said “no” ¬†So it must be different for him when he is involved nothing bothers him but looking around it did. ¬†All the dough was made for them they just had to roll them into balls¬†put them in the oven under adult supervision I am told, take them out and clear up, so washing up, drying up and cleaning down the benches.

One happy mummy and tasty yummy rolls, he can’t wait for next lesson.

Awards

Well it’s the first week back after Christmas and things seem to be going well still. Oliver is having a good week the homework picked up a little in the middle of the week and he coped well, he completed all this homework in the one evening. ¬†His response was if I do it all tonight then 1. I can go to football training and 2. if I don’t get homework tomorrow then I will only have reading to do and can have a night off. That’s what happened ūüôā

Oliver came out of school yesterday as normal no reaction from him on anything and then he goes into his book bag and pulls out a small certificate with a big smile on his face.  He was awarded Star of the Week for working hard and always doing the right thing.

As you can image for children with ASD and ADHD doing the right thing isn’t always possible and concentration¬†can stop them from working as hard as they might. ¬†So a massive proud mummy moment for not only Oliver getting the award but for the reasons too ūüôā