Other Children

How do you explain to your child about other people’s behavior and then that person blaming it on their disability IE ADHD or ASD, when you never let your child use the conditions as an excuse for bad behavior.

Oliver was at an after school club when a boy push Oliver towards the ground and pushed his neck (I believe, that’s the story we have, even though it wasn’t fully witnessed)  The adult in charge saw the end of what was happening and spoke to the child involved and told him if he he did anything like that again he wouldn’t be allowed back.  The child turned around and said he was angry and the adult told him that wasn’t an excuse he had to learn to control anger (in a nice caring way to help the child and not make them feel worst I am sure)  then the child said I have ADHD and can’t help it.  To which the adult replied that Oliver has ADHD but he doesn’t behave like that and the child calmed down and went off for a while then came back feeling unwell.

Where is the line we drawn in letting their disability become and excuse?  I know most children have anger issues with ADHD and ASD, I know Oliver does and when we can see him getting angry or he knows he is then we walks away to his room to calm down and when out and about or at school he bottles it up until he comes home and then he deals with it.  He has never hit anyone from anger let alone another child,  So why should another child?  Oliver now doesn’t understand why he was hurt because of someone with ADHD when he has the same and has never done it.  Who is to blame the child (who has can’t control it or has never been taught how to control it) Or the parent ?  In my own personal view and some may hate me for this but I blame the parents for not helping to teach their child, and maybe I am wrong but for allowing the child to use their condition as an excuse for this behavior like this is wrong. Where will the lashing out end someone being seriously hurt.

Why isn’t there more support and understanding out there for one the children involved and even adults with these conditions and more support for parents to help our children to understand a confusing world and a confusing condition.

When will the cycle end?

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