My last two blogs have been quite down as things have seem to be on a downward spiral. Well today started like the rest of the week has horrible, Oliver has melted down over most things, tiny things. Today was no better, he was blowing things out of proportion this morning saying that people had done things they hadn’t and nothing we said made any difference.

Knowing he had one more school performance didn’t help and I did think about keeping him at home, but knowing that wasn’t the right answer his dad came up with a great idea, Oliver’s birthday is this Sunday (and as I have been told by Oliver mothers day is cancelled)

We had an early present for Oliver which we where going to give him tomorrow but thinking it might help we gave him two presents early, this new Reading Football T-Shirt and tickets to see a game tomorrow with his dad.

 

OMG did it change his mood into the happy Oliver we all know and love, he was full of excitement telling us information about Reading Football Club we didn’t think he knew. I am so pleased he liked this present as I was worried he wouldn’t Oliver can open a present and show no emotion at all, even if he loves it, leaving you feeling you have done the wrong things, but not this morning 🙂

I am hopping this makes his day a lot better and gives him something to look forward too and focus on.

I can only hope he is still happy after school and nothing has gone on to ruin his day, but thank goodness for the weekend and no school.

 

 

School Show

Well it’s that time of year again, the School’s Easter Show! This should be a happy time the children perform for parents etc but for a child with ASD and ADHD this is a nightmare.

As the week and the show have gone on Oliver has gone into meltdown a lot more, getting him into school is becoming hard or not into school as such more into the playground because once he is in the playground and seeing his friends he appears to be fine.

After the third show and with a show this evening, Oliver has become horrid, he is going into meltdown over nothing, reading and spelling was hard to complete with him this evening. When I question him (yes I did try) he told me that he had no sympathy at school when I asked him what he meant he told me “I had chest pains at school today”

He has been suffering from chest pains before a performance and all the teaching staff are saying to him is that it is nerves! YES IT IS BLOODY IS NERVES HE IS A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS ! He has had them before a performance and while performing, why do school think it is important to put a child through this much pain I would be and I am sure Oliver would be more than happy not to take part. If he was a child that loved to perform then I would be more than happy for him to take part to even encourage it, but when it isn’t his interest it’s hard work. Even if I went into school to say he isn’t performing then all I would get from them is it it character building.

They all so wouldn’t see the problem as Oliver doesn’t meltdown in school it show his emotions he leaves it for when he gets home so every time something upsets him and I go into school they don’t see the problem. I wish for once he would show them what he shows me and maybe just maybe they would understand more.

I feel as a parent with a child with these or any conditions no one understands unless they themselves are going through a similar experience. Training courses don’t always help the real training is living with this every day. That is even if school send anyone on any training course, which at the moment I am thinking not!

Oh well two more to go tonight and Friday, maybe then things will get better at least we have his birthday soon to look forward too.

Change / Self Hating.

Good Afternoon

It’s been quite some time since I last blogged and so much has happened.

 

We have moved house and even tho everything seams to be fine with Oliver I am now not quite so sure.

 

When we moved in we had nightmare of everything upside down and Oliver not coping, there was a lot for us to do when we moved in painting, carpet laying etc. My main concern was Oliver and as soon as we had keys we started to paint his room first so he would feel a little settled, he seamed ok and then carpet was laid in his room and his room was finally all set up. He was happy other rooms took a little longer and for a while Oliver would avoid those rooms if he could help it. I put in place everything he has for his safe zones and to help him keep calm, which did help a great deal and that is one thing I do like is knowing what will help Oliver and having that in place for him.

 

Now we are settled at home things with Oliver aren’t always great, they are on a weekend but in the week it can’t be hell. We have moved town and even tho both Oliver and his sister are at the same school for the time being, Oliver isn’t enjoying school.

 

His sister is leaving the school first and joining her new school in April (this isn’t anything new as Oliver knew she would be attending a different school come September anyway as she is moving onto secondary school) and Oliver knows he is on a waiting list for his new school, but he wants to go now as he doesn’t like where he is! He is in a school that are great at getting top results but I feel other skills suffer, there is so much pressure on these children that Oliver who used to be able to cope or let things ride over him because he was unaware of them is no longer happening.

 

Oliver has started to self hate, he thinks he isn’t good enough and he is stupid and lots of other things. I am not a 100 % sure where all this has come from, from little bits of information that Oliver has said to me I think small things are being said to him at school, I am not sure if Oliver is making a mountain out of a mole hill or whether they really are putting more pressure on him and saying he isn’t good enough?

 

I am telling Oliver he is good enough and you can only try your best and that he has bigger obstacles in his way and more to over come than other children.

 

Is it now he is older he is seeing the difference between himself and others in his class and the levels they are at to him, are the other children in his class who where once friends to a degree now being nasty? Are school putting more pressure on him and now he is finally cracking?

 

Or is this because he is in an adjustment period of moving house, awaiting his sister to leave school ? She is his go to person if things become to stressful in lunch.

 

Do I go and speak to school or leave it? I am sure if I go in there, they will be it’s not school it’s this and that, or the blank faces for them not knowing Autism of understanding it. Every time I have gone in things are meant to be put in place but it soon dies out, and school seem to think he doesn’t need a statement.

 

I am beginning to not know where to turn or what to do for the best. I am going to wait for my next CAMHs appointment to discuss this with them, but will this turn from self hating into self harming?

 

 

I can only hope he gets a place at his new school and this might all calm down?

 

Please get in touch if you have experienced this, advice or thoughts would be most welcome. It’s not easy for our children out in this big wide world and it isn’t easy for us as parents.